Tuesday, July 29, 2025

47 and counting wishes

The light shifts. Always shifting. 
And in its changing, I find you, 
Over and over, a constant, 
Yet ever-unfolding landscape. 
Not just the woman of 47 yesterday, 
but every intricate layer beneath.

I see the younger woman who first captivated me, 
A flicker of unburdened joy, 
A certain fearless curiosity in her eyes that still sparks, 
Sometimes, when she thinks no one is looking.

And a bit older woman who built, 
Stone by careful stone, 
This quiet sanctuary we inhabit, not just walls, 
But a shared understanding deeper than any foundation. 
The one who wrestled with shadows and emerged, 
Not unscathed, perhaps, 
But richer, more incandescent.

There are moments, 
Brief catches of breath, when I glimpse the quiet woman, 
The one who sees beyond the obvious, 
Who navigates currents I sometimes miss. 
And the fiercely tender protector, 
Her heart a vast, warm ocean for those she loves.

We've walked through seasons. 

The sharp clarity of winter, 
The hesitant bloom of spring, 
The long, generous stretch of summer, 
And the reflective hues of autumn. 

Each one leaving its mark, 
A subtle deepening of the lines around her eyes, 
A new grace in her movements. 

These aren't just years passing; 
They are layers accumulating, 
Like the rings within an ancient tree, 
Each one telling a story, 
Adding to the profound, quiet strength I lean into.

So today, as the sun begins its arc, 
Or perhaps as dusk gathers its soft cloak, 
I honor the women inside you. 

The visible, 
The unseen, 
The woman I know so intimately, 
And the beautiful mysteries I am still privileged to uncover. 

You are not just time lived, 
But a profound, ongoing revelation
Of spaces that can form a human.

Thursday, May 15, 2025

Sun-drenched birthmark

Speak to me of the celestial sun spots etched upon your skin,
those pale, hushed constellations, seemingly so far.

Unveil to me the commonplace nature they hold for you,
how they often fade into the tapestry unseen by hurried eyes.

Stars in the sun's bright gaze? 
Who spares them a glance —
Who truly perceives them,
save for me,
in this nearness where our very breaths entwine,
and the rhythm of your heart echoes within mine.

With a gentle touch, I chart the landscapes of your being,
seeking the silent narratives held within each birthmark,
on this warm afternoon's embrace,
where tenderness rests between us,
a drowsy warmth, curled and content as a sun-drenched cat or dog.

Thursday, February 27, 2025

Not alone

Today 
has ended tomorrow.
 
Yesterday
I buttoned up and refused to leave the universe anyway 
but alive.

Apricot skies. Strawberry fields. Libraries.
 
You're not alone. 
You have me along with these.

Friday, May 24, 2024

The withering

On a rainy day, faraway
a withering flower 
whispered a poem.

The winds of the mind 
carried it afar
via words
burdened with their own weight.

For where medicines
and meditations may fail
Words work.

For they carry...
love,
the warmest of words,
the lightest of feelings.

The winds stop, 
the clouds pour,
the body pauses, 
the soul cleanses, 
the mind cries.

The poet always 
loves, and 
tries.

Tuesday, August 08, 2023

The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows

Yesternight, as I grappled with a throbbing headache, my partner "surpgifted" me with one of the most thoughtful and wonderful gifts/books ever. The book helped.

It's truly a poem on everything. :-)

I am only halfway through it but it's really unputdownable. One of the best books I've ever read...

Here's my humble contribution to the dictionary:
  • Assisong - the act of assigning a song to a person, to yourself, to a slice of life, to a situation, or to a place either in the past or present.
  • Citalgia - the emotions that pour out of you when you think of the city(ies) you've been to/lived in and the memories you made there knowing fully well that you may never go back there/live there again.
  • Restalgia - the emotions, and dare I say, saliva too, that pour out of you when you think of your favorite restaurant(s) and your favorite food from there knowing fully well that you may never get to eat there again or that that restaurant(s) has closed down/may close down soon.
  • Quitenjob - the feeling that overtakes you during your last few days at a workplace while you're serving your notice period, or as your contract period gets over and won't be renewed, or if they've served you a notice period.
  • Asgoodasitgetsintend - the helpless feeling when the love of your life gives you a last hug (which you don't know is the last one at the time) and you feel like this is/was as good as it gets till it lasts/lasted and then it ends/ended one fine day like everything alive dies/died.
  • Surpgift - the surprise gift that beats all other gifts because of its meaningfulness and intensity.

Monday, June 26, 2023

My Bangalore Days are over

Bangalore, a city that evokes different and distinct emotions for different folks.
 
For me, it only evokes memories... 

In 2002, when Ani shifted from apna Vasai to work at HP, it was still HP. Bangalore was still Bangalore. Wind Tunnel Road was still like a tunnel made of old trees on both sides with canopies closing in above. 

The whole city was still green. There were no frothing lakes. HSR Layout and Sahakar Nagar were simple-but-far-from-city-center residential layouts with mud roads. Yelahanka was like a satellite town. 

The airport was still inside the city with green fields surrounding it. ACs were not a necessity yet.

Ani has his own share of memories in Bangalore: him meeting a few loves of his life and finally marrying one of them...

I certainly have no nostalgic memories of Bangalore without him though. He meant Bangalore for me.
 
Now, I'll only miss its weather. Which is also soon leaving the place like he is.

Bangalore never meant food joints or pubs to me. It was the only place I felt I always had a second home. Home was where Ani lived.

He certainly was Bangalore's non-resident resident, if that makes sense. His interactions with the locals and the city culture were minimal and if-and-only-if-required kinds. But he did make a few lasting or memorable relationships here.

This was the city where we shared Friends, How I Met Your Mother, The Practice, Breaking Bad, most seasons of GoT, and beer together.

This was the city where we made long trips braving city traffic to collect pirated DVDs of A or B-grade thrillers, slashers, and a few good films together.

I have seen the city being abused. Seen it grow without any direction.
Now am directionless. In Bengaluru. 

For there's no place called home here anymore.

Bengaluru without Ani is just another dying city in India. For me, he made the city come alive with love, laughter, and hope.

Now, I hope that I can call Lisbon my second home soon. Hope he makes it BIGger there.

Monday, May 29, 2023

Return of the prodigal son

He's back. Confucius. 

It took 47 days filled with nerve-wracking moments of numbness. 

On our 4th first-met anniversary day, when I petted him in the alley he was hiding in and scooped him up in a bear hug of sort... my heart burst. With 1,000 and eight emotions. 

I've experienced and driven through a cloudburst before and now I know why it's called a cloudburst.

Watching Kukubera crying out tears of joy while calling out his name on video call as Andrew and I escorted him back home in our Snubby was the perfect start to an auspicious day. 

He's back home to his fellow companions, Skipper, Rose, and Honey. He's skinny now with no injuries of any sort and will soon be back in good health soon.

We're eternally grateful to Anand's 8-year-old son, who spotted him at 5:30 am when he used to go buy milk. We found him at the exact same spot where he said Confu will be... 

We fulfilled our promise of 10K cash reward but there's an eternal gratefulness that money can't buy.

We thank every single member of the Yours WhatsApp group and others who joined us in our search for Confu.