Saturday, October 22, 2005

Hmmm...

Now, that was new for title, eh? Trust me to it. I will always come up with new ways.

I am all sick in the head, did not sleep last night. Headache, heartache… and now, the doc says two more days of pills in my diet. God, bad health… whoever a thing called health… and only humans seem to have problem with it. All our medicines and vaccines don’t seem to make much of a difference…

I have not seen many dogs or cats born with deformities the way we are? Or am I wrong?

Anyways, was seriously thinking about my purpose in life. I always take myself a bit seriously. A “very good friend” says so! She wants me to call her that… a very good friend! Indeed!

Am sleepy or what here… forgive my writing… "a sleepy head can do not much thinking." Old jungle saying!

She also tells me that my poetry is a path… may not be the end for me. Food for thought. Real good food I have had in years.

So I list things I will end up doing in the next 10 years:
CafĂ©… will not write anything more. Don’t want a rich entrepreneur reading and starting it before I do!
Movies… hmmm… farhan akhtar, need to talk to you for a few minutes!
Spirituality… psychiatry… behavior science…

Where do I belong? What am I destined for? I don’t want to end up like countless others who never gave these questions a thought. Who never stood and stared.

I take this time off to think… I need to stand before her eyes. I need to prove that her belief in me, in what I have inside me… is really there.

I know she loved me then because she saw something even she did not realize then or even now. But I know it. Gut feeling. Instinct. Whatever.

I know she saw an inner light inside me the way I saw hers. Maybe she can’t or won’t express it… but we meeting and getting together on this expedition called life itself is a miracle.

She called me today morn… and made a good morning of a sick yesternight… we talked. Once again, just like the old times… hours… over the phone…

I miss you. Oh goddess!! U make me breathe again… every time love pours from those caring lips… sweet nectar…

Oh my mother goddess, are you waiting for me now? Here, I come unto you. Into your womb once again.