“We have brought you up; we know what is best for you!” Sounds familiar?
This is our parents’ mantra who have been where none of us have been before!
They know everything: whom we should marry, who is our actual best friend, when should we do something, when should we eat, what we should eat…
They want their children to follow the herd because they themselves had followed the herd! But they want their children to be the best!
They want their children to forever study something or the other because they never did it.
They never asked questions but always expect answers.
They failed many times but expect us to pass all the time.
They pass on all their expectations and dreams on to their children; they think that these are relay batons.
But life does not work so easy.
Children are gifted to parents, not born from them.
They are gods; parents make them humans.
They love making mistakes. They love to love.
They don’t know war from peace.
They are not behind life chasing some dreams which may not be fulfilled.
They live for the moment.
They know no fear.
They are Buddhas. They are in a constant state of flux.
They are flowers, not roots…
Like flowers, let them seek the sun, let them burn, let them pollinate, let them spread their own fragrance, let them wither, fall, and be born elsewhere.
Let them travel, let them be buried, let them float on rivers… let them be the source of another tree.
I will be a parent soon (in three years, I guess :-))… Let me be a child again.
16 comments:
Hi Abhi, good thoughts about parents, i agree with your views, but mostly the reason why parents want their children to obey them is mainly because of their love and affection. MY father wanted me to become an engineer , it was because he thought my future would be more secure that way. BUt i differed from his opinion, so we cant entirely blame our parents. BY the way, i know that you will be a parent soon, but why three years;-)
yeah right, applause everybody, we have a free thinker amongst us, we are human beings not animals, animals can let their young ones be, they will handle themselves, children if not taught the right and wrong things will end up fighting themselves, leave alone various other things that they have to deal with, and you of all the sacred things in this universe want to be a parent, WHY ??????? one really wonders HOW.
god bless us all, all
moderation....hmmmmmm, loser
loser...............................................loser..........................................loser.........loser.....................................loser.......................................loser.....
Dear Aswin,
I am not blaming parents in the post; just thinking aloud.
Incidentally, my father too wanted me to become an engineer. Both of us tried hard, but failed, fortunately.
Hi Abhi,
That was a good one...liked it a lot!! Agree with your thoughts.....
You forgot about Dubai, and you forgot all of us too...no news from you .......do mail a few lines whenever you find time. Mail id is (if you don't have it) b_karan@emirates.net.ae
Avi & Nandu miss you a lot......
hey Abhilash,
i liked the ending of your post. the hint of a resolution to be good parent :)
right, the only way to mend the past is to correct the future.
and watch so many anons screaming their heads out at your happiness.
cheers to you your bright new life, Abhi.
cheers to you and Leena.
Yes... that was so good... parents need to learn to how to love children... and try to be a notice board when it comes to making decisions for the child... and let the child be the decision maker...
well, parents cant live with them and cant live without them, i feel i scare my parents, i am past 30, refusing to get married, and the amount of stress that they undergo, all because of this one decision of mine.
i have never wanted to be like my dad, or like anyone else, i have always wanted to do my own thing, its life that we have to celebrate, not by getting married and by reproducing, to each his own, to me life is like this, to travel, to meet different people, not to stay in one place for too long, i can never get my parents to agree to this, and NO i do not think parents are like GOD, and that they have to be worshipped and that i have to devote myself to them, that is not true, parents become so because they choose to, very well knowing what they are getting themselves in to, that in no way means i have to do everything to make sure they are ok, my life that they have so preciously given me, will be lead the way i choose to, there is no point in parents feeling bad about the decision of their children.
for parents the child never grows up, thats why all decisions of children will always be dealt with a remark of "you have not seen the world", oh yeah, i aint seen no world, like they have seen it, how can you think in the 60's and make a decision today - absurd, even though all of us may want to agree we wont, because its parents, oh so sacred parents, like asvin once wrote in his blog, people get a life, do something with it, and if you do something nice your parents will obviously feel proud about it, dotn get wasted like million others, marriage, children, family, own house, fixed deposit, lic policy.........bah!
on a different note, check out http://www.lokparitran.org - a new political party floated by ex-IITians, if at all you do decide to vote, lets give these guys a mandate to do something, let the bandicoots be in the sewers, let people, capable people make decisions and implement them.
by the way, my new city is dubai, ugh what a lousy place, lousy people, lousy traffic, anyway all that the city gets is a year, my earlier city (kabul) had much more action ;-), lucky enough for me to have reached here alive.
bohemian traveller
"throw the book, get up and start travelling" - anonymous
Abhi,
Well, all the parents do have this mantra....but they dont do these coz they have to...they just cant bear to see there kids lose.....
hope...u remember what mama said when she was talking about me...she couldnt see me losing...though i was and am winning all the while.....
so cant be blaming parents all the while.....hope that we become different all the while.....
as i read it "u got to become parents to know how much your parents have done to you".....
Leena
Hi Anonymous, are you one of Abhi's former girlfriends
Valid thoughts. But if you look at things from their perspective, you would hear them say what they can never mouth "We can't bear to see our children get hurt or suffer." Undoubtedly there would be some selfishness laced in what they feel... I found the quintessence of children captured in your line They love to love :-)
hey vandana,
thanks, da. for being a friend all through the last year even though I was not in touch with you.
you have proved that friendships can last long even without being in touch.
I love children... their inherent sense of curiosity... that lovely world they can create...
i hope my children never lose out on their idealism.
Priya,
It's surprising that you commented on the blog. I am happy to see you here.
I will never forget dubai or you. i too miss avi and nandu. dubai taught me many lessons in a span of six months.
and you were the only saving grace there. give my regards to bhaskar ettan too.
bohemian traveler,
you seem to have led an interesting life. so where all have you travelled?
do you blog? do share your travelogues with me.
hope your stay in dubai is more eventful and pleasant than mine was.
Baby,
I know what you mean. This post was by no means meant against parents. this was just a point-of-view.
i know parents and how they love us.
Eroteme,
finally, the master visits my blog. that actually was the essence of what i wanted to write... that children are gods. they love to love.
Talking about love... do you know the meaning of love? I heard you screwed up badly...
Never mind. Dont be so scared in life. Your wife seems to be your only hope.
So poignantly true!! Although easier said than done, it is indeed very difficult for parents to treat their children as unique individuals with their own views and aspirations. The natural tendency is for parents to hope that their children achieve their failed dreams and live the life that passed them by. Have you read Khalil Gibran's views on this? And, by the way, i've joined the bloggers band-wagon too with a tiny post. www.gayathrivarma.blogspot.com
Maybe your views will change once you become a parent. Mine did!
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