Inside Out

This is not a film. This is not a movie. This is existentialism, psychology, emotions, and looking at life with feelings. This is being a child, this is parenting, this is growing up. This is about coming of age. This is death of few memories into deep black voids from where there is no return. This is a lesson in movie-making. This is conversation. This is about relationships between various feelings both inside and outside of us!
 
This is life...

Inside Out is an experience worth cherishing many times. Easily, the best of 2015, it takes you to a world of imagination, thoughts, and feelings. It has metaphors and simple scenes which convey mighty truths.

The emotions and their controls and how they change with time. Writing about Inside Out is so overwhelming that I do not know where to begin. Has my train of thought stopped? Or, has abstract thinking changed my feelings? :-) Or, is the joy inside me unable to understand why the movie brought so many core memories to light? :-)

Inside me, I am sure Joy and Sadness have already understood why I have loved this movie like no other. Some movies are like that. They make you cry tears of joy.

Vasai, my home

Time is ephemeral. Rather it shows the true nature of all around us as being ephemeral.

Recently, we drove down to Vasai all the way from Bangalore. The road has changed for the better. 14-hour drive.

I have met many good and noble people in my life. Bhadra Aunty and family and Sapna Chechi and family are among the best. They are the kind of people who make you feel wanted. Cared for. They make you miss places, memories, events, and shared incidents of joy. They've always been there for you. For us. They're the epitome of being well-wishers.

They make you human. 

The kids have now all grown-up and how! They sing, they travel and they are certainly going places! I love how Praveen and Sonu and Meenu have shaped up. I mean, just the other day, they were two-year-old kids who you took out for walks and played with... 

Tears welled up in my eyes when I heard Meenu play the tanpura and sing. It was a truly meditative experience. I shared with her Jaggi Vasudev's video wherein he converses with Pandit Jasraj.

Tears welled up when I had three vada pavs from Amrut Ganga; the taste has not changed even after so many years. The young man at the counter has changed; he is the grandson of the man who established the shop. His father still comes in and helps him once in a while.

Sonu has become a tomboy but one who is a pakka Bombay girl. Tears welled up in my eyes when she cooked great pav bhaji for us! When she insisted, in her own sweet way, that I should not go to Pune. 

I could not go. The rain gods and Gods were against it.

I have decided to visit Vasai as many times as possible. To keep going back there to know that this too shall pass. That this is where home will always be; where life will welcome me even though I am a black sheep. 

Because Vasai is where they truly love me. In spite of me.

Anandham's loss for life

Once upon a time, there was an old man. My valliachan who I met only five times but left an indelible mark upon me. 

He led a very virtuous life. He taught the poor and disciplined them for life; one of them came all the way for his cremation from Dharmapuri to Palakkad. 

He was remembered fondly by one and all. Even his elder sister and family, who are not in talking terms with his family, came and cried. 

The unexpected coming back of his prodigal son after a long time and then, a more unexpected twist wherein he committed suicide for still unknown reasons, had made him very, very upset. That suicide had begun his countdown.

But like valliachan's life, his death was a blessed one too: he passed away quickly among all his loved ones. He even waited for his beloved grandchildren to come back from their school; that fateful day they arrived earlier than usual by 15 minutes. He was fortunate to sip water from their loving hands before breathing his last.

My kuttus have looked after him and his wife all their childhood. They have experienced the deaths of three close ones till date and each death has made them stronger, but humbler. He had taught them excellent values and skills in life. 

Anandham (his man Friday) and me had a long chat while waiting for takeaway at the nearby Iyer restaurant. He was completely at a loss for words. He was mourning his death. He was nostalgically reminiscing every event and incident with the old man. 

If Anandham can feel the irreparable loss and can cry after valliachan's death, he has led a blessed life. May his soul rest in peace.