Nothing prepares you for this event. No amount of movie-watching, imagination, analyzing, nothing. No amount of mental preparation and aspiration makes you ready for this meeting, which took ten years in the making. All those years of subconsciously waiting to bump into her at Thiruvannamalai or Chennai... Nothing matters. Nothing mattered.
Maybe, the two weeks of being in touch briefly over WhatsApp and mobile reduced the self-created hype... I met her over a casual lunch after coffee.
I am free at last. From a ten-year-old obsession. Oh yeah, that's what it was. That is what I made it. In my own mind. I can finally say that I was in love with her. With emphasis on the past tense.
It's finally over; the deepest chapter is over. The book has been closed; the bridge has been burned. By my very two hands.
My yearning, my churning, my wishful thinking, my imagination, my dream world that I had painstakingly created by myself and for myself. All vanished and crashed. It was a beautiful destruction; I wanted to destroy it in reality. I wanted reality to destroy this of all my grand illusions: my painter girl. Which is why I met her when the opportunity arose, even after I had decided to not be in touch with her after that brief communication period on WhatsApp.
Now, I am on my own. I am seeking; and not looking back again.
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