Friday, March 11, 2005

To parents with love

I love my parents. I love my mom because she stands for what all I could be. I love my dad because he stands for what I should not be. They are great teachers in their own ways. Pure examples of an example and a non-example.

I observe them and learn a lot.

They bitch; they gossip; they fight. They quarrel. Dad even read porn!

They secretly wish they had more freedom. They wish they had more choice; more guts. They took more risks. They wish they should have lived more.

They poke their noses into others’ business’. They love to impress everyone they can.

For them, reputation is more important than honesty. All that matters is what neighbors and relatives think about them. Everything is fine till the world knows about it.

Hypocrites to the core. That’s what they are. More love when more people are around. Nicety is directly proportional to the number of witnesses around.

They follow an old set of rules. Just like blind religion. They have no problem with that; they have a problem with blind love.

Forever on a devotional race, they never attain god. Even with all the prayers and the temple rounds they make.

They try to impose their rules on me. Me! God-forsaken me!

I was a problem child. Right from the start, I always questioned the very nature of everything they clung onto.

I embarrassed them. My numerous, scandalous affairs did not help. Nor did my becoming such an independent, free-thinking spirit help.

Now, they are old and I am young. The battle has just begun. The gap is widening.

Parents will have to bend their rules; break them, if needed. Only then, can we even breathe. They have to believe in their children. Believe in the divine wisdom that every child is born with, and not corrupt it. Not spoil the gift every child is born with.

They kill the child’s uniqueness by putting him/her into a school.

And most schools, in their very unique ways, teach you to:

  • Dress the same.
  • Wear uniforms.
  • Do homework.
  • Answer, not question.
  • Mug, not realize.
  • Follow the crowd.
  • Do this.
  • Don’t do this.
  • Talk, not listen.
  • Write letters, not songs.
  • Learn languages, not literature.
  • Study art, not beauty.
  • Go back to classes, not nature.

By the time, the child is out of school, the child is lost. One among the herd. Grazing forever.

Parents need to realize that they are not immortal. They must understand that they are being swept away in a flood of changes… That they cannot cope the new today and the around-the-corner tomorrow without our wisdom.

They will forever be just that: mom and dad. Nothing more. Nothing less.

And, parents never grow up.

So mom and dad, please live. Grow up. Cool it. Take it easy. Hug me. Kiss me. Don’t force me.

Love me. I love you. Let me be me.

PS: Dad, once in a year, I still have a birthday…

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

its tuff being yr parents. I really feel sorry for them. But I take my lesson from this too. How not to smother my kids. Your donts are very telling. Thanx!!!

abhilash warrier said...

revathi,

who are you? I would love to know you.

I observed that you've been an avid reader of my blog.

If you don't mind, i would love it if you can give me your e-mail ID.