Bharatham - A retelling of an epic

Every once in a while, a movie comes along that makes it hard for you to write a review. Maybe, because that movie has the same cathartic effect on you that writing brings.

Bharatham is one such movie. As a retelling of the Ramayan, focusing purely on the relationship between two brothers, it is a contemporary story set in a classical musician's joint family.

The elder brother, aptly titled Raman, is an acclaimed carnatic singer. He has recently become an alcoholic, which starts affecting his kacheri performances. His younger brother, Gopi aka Bharat, accompanies him on the veena.

During one such kacheri, Raman is not able to sing as he's drunk more than usual. Then, Gopi has to sing on his behalf. This makes him an instant hit in the carnatic music world.

Raman becomes increasingly jealous of Gopi even though he loves him. Thus, begins a journey towards self-discovery, redemption, and exchange of their familial roles. 

Raman stops Gopi from ending his singing career, watches his brother's performance at Thyagaraja Music Festival, and leaves on a pilgrimage without telling anybody. Here, the flawed elder brother goes on a pilgrimage (as praaischitam) leaving the younger one to take care of his samsara.

While Gopi searches for his Raman's whereabouts, he comes to know that Raman had died in a road accident during his pilgrimage.

He comes home with a heavy heart to inform everybody at home about this news but sees that they have received a letter written by Raman before his death! 

Now, they are all happy and preparing for the wedding... He does not reveal the news. What happens after this is the crux of the movie, where Gopi starts donning his elder brother's role in the family. At least for a few days. He is burning inside and cannot reveal the truth. The mute younger sister's wedding is imminent.

What happens when the truth is revealed is the climax... making it one of the best endings in any movie I have seen. 

There are filler scenes here aplenty. Multiple reaction shots. And even those make you wonder how anybody can act like that. Mohanlal reveals his mastery over the craft in such movies... I think, Sibi Malayil gets the best out of him. Kireedam, Chenkoil (the often under-rated sequel to Kireedam), and Bharatham are movies that every cinema lover should devour for you can learn a lot from these.

The music and songs gives you goosebumps. Especially, Rama katha ganalayam...

Watching this movie again, made me cry. Again.

Masaan

Masaan is less of a movie and more of a metaphor. The Ganga must move on between floating dead bodies and burning ones. Just like life must move on between death on all sides. 

Death is the invisible, omnipotent character in this movie. Sometimes spoken about, mostly unspoken but recognized. Both protagonists lose a loved one: one lost her mother when she was just six years old and blames her father's negligence for her death. The other loses his beloved just as life and love was blossoming! Death, like life, has no rhyme or reason, and can come to anyone anytime.

Two parallel tracks show us the inner struggle of apparently modern India just like the stagnated waters of the Ganga in certain pockets during its continuous flow. It has become dirty and a sad reminiscent of its glorious past. This river, which is more than a river, is equated to the glorious Bharat of the past now trying to come to terms with confused modern India.

Facebook does not ask for your caste. But friends on both ends are aware of its implications. The male protagonist, who belongs to the Dom caste (burning human dead bodies has been their ancestral occupation; this is a most revered occupation as per me because they would have seen death from close quarters and the ones who do not lose themselves to drinking, am sure will become poets and philosophers) falls in his first love with an upper caste Gupta girl! Their old-school romance and courtship on screen reminded me of my first and second loves in school! Unrequited though they were, I must add!

The two parallel tracks do merge in the end and life goes on. There are two lines of poetry from the legendary Hindustani poet Dushyant Kumar that singe the heart... ""Tu kisi rail si guzarti hai, main kisi pul saa thartharaataa hun." Loosely translated to "You cross over like a train, I vibrate like some bridge..." Well, I have destroyed its essence in translation. 

Poetry in movies elevates the movie to an altogether different heights. Though not many films have done this as much as Pyaasa, Udaan and Masaan come very close in Hindi cinema.


There is a background shot of a brightly lit train in the night crossing a bridge on the Ganga... That shot alone makes this movie a masterpiece. That one, and the one where two red balloons float up towards the sky... These scenes make your heart beat a bit faster! You feel the excitement that only your first love can bring.

Every character in the movie is struggling and coming to terms with death in some way or the other: the child Jhonta has an unenviable occupation that may brush him closer to death, the father, Sanjay Mishra, is coming to terms with his wife's early death (understated that he never remarried), the daughter coming to terms with her mother's death, the lover coming to terms with his first love's sudden death... Earlier, he was always face to face with death but never internalized it... Later, the same two lines of poetry pours out of him as rambling train while his body vibrates as the bridge... 

This movie is a must watch; an ode to life, death, and love. To first love and then the ones to follow. As I said earlier, life must go on.

Pavithram, purity in love as a ritual

After a long, long time, I saw Pavithram again today. Just like the pavithram modiram (finger ring made of kusa grass worn during rituals in Kerala) is pure/purifying in nature, so is chetacha's love for his sister/daughter.

An ahead-of-time concept, wherein an old couple (played beautifully by Thilakan and Srividya) give birth to a daughter when they already have an elder son (Sreenivasan), a doctor, who is married, and a younger son (Mohanlal) who is of marriageable age. Sreenivasan has been married for sometime now and does not have kids yet. And his wife does not get along well with his family; being henpecked, he also lets things be.

Now, the mother dies during child birth and the father leaves the family out of frustration and guilt. This leaves only Mohanlal to look after his infant sister! He sacrifices his love and his career to look after her. In a way, he becomes almost obsessed with her. 

There are brilliant scenes in the movie where Chetacha (loosely translated to bro-father, which is what she calls him)... plays a dual role of being both a father and an elder brother to his sister! In some scenes, he reacts as a father first and then as a brother... And then, there are some more... 

His over-protective love and concern for his sister becomes his all-consuming love... Ever since she was born, she was the center of his existence... But he forgot that with time, even love should change its form and appearance. That love needs to transform into freedom. She moves to the city for studies and that brings new possibilities and life choices in her life. Which he does not approve of as a bro-father... To add to that, he gets angry very quickly due to lot of factors... His sacrifices, his old age, his unmarried life...

The movie shows us a kind of love, which is becoming rarer nowadays. Most people don't want to be loved like this anymore. This is an old-school movie for old-school romantics like me. And it belongs to that elite club of classic Malayalam movies made in the late 80s and throughout the 90s.

After watching Pavithram, I long for a daughter who would call me chetacha! :-)

Peace. Bliss.

Nothing prepares you for this event. No amount of movie-watching, imagination, analyzing, nothing. No amount of mental preparation and aspiration makes you ready for this meeting, which took ten years in the making. All those years of subconsciously waiting to bump into her at Thiruvannamalai or Chennai... Nothing matters. Nothing mattered.  

Maybe, the two weeks of being in touch briefly over WhatsApp and mobile reduced the self-created hype... I met her over a casual lunch after coffee.

I am free at last. From a ten-year-old obsession. Oh yeah, that's what it was. That is what I made it. In my own mind. I can finally say that I was in love with her. With emphasis on the past tense.

It's finally over; the deepest chapter is over. The book has been closed; the bridge has been burned. By my very two hands. 

My yearning, my churning, my wishful thinking, my imagination, my dream world that I had painstakingly created by myself and for myself. All vanished and crashed. It was a beautiful destruction; I wanted to destroy it in reality. I wanted reality to destroy this of all my grand illusions: my painter girl. Which is why I met her when the opportunity arose, even after I had decided to not be in touch with her after that brief communication period on WhatsApp.

Now, I am on my own. I am seeking; and not looking back again.

Four days in Pune

Pune. I was in Pune for four days... I keep going to Pune because... I really do not know why. It's like Pune will always be my mistress while Bombay will always be my first love.

Met few of my best friends in Pune this time: 

• Rohan

• Samruddhi, Appy, and Deepa (enjoyed a lot even though we did miss Shailesh and Bobby)

• Last but not the least, Sachin Chipkar

Rohan and I spent a lot of time talking about the days gone by. How his life has changed post marriage and I feel, it is for the better. We drank and laughed and watched old Hindi songs on Masti channel and Sony Mix... just like old times. We had the famous misal pav from Katakeer. In the evening, we also had Bombay sandwiches and vada pav.

Kalyani Restaurant stills serves the best Tomato Onion Uttapam in Pune! :-)

Moving on to Baner... Well, Baner is almost like Vasai to me. Brimming with memories. I am sure that after Vasai, Baner must be the place most mentioned in my blog since 2005.

Sam and Deepa ensured that I had Baingan ka barta in typical Jalgaon style. Super spicy. In between round of beers, we managed to talk about our days as neighbors together. Deepa still calls me bhaiya (very few do and actually mean it too). Appy (Shailesh's and Sam's daughter) reminds me of Kuchu a lot! 

I had so much wanted to make this trip and thank God, it was perfect. I munched on Balewadi phata's lovely vada pavs and talked with the uncle who runs the shop. He remembered me at my first greeting itself; he kept telling me to come back to Pune... :-)

I am glad I met him. He hasn't changed an inch... Same big, beaming smile. Same love. Same humility and love coming from his very root of existence. Sachin Chipkar. My brother, I am so happy for you now. Your loving wife, Anu, and son, Agastya, just made me feel like a family member within few minutes...

From sharing sob stories at Goregaon railway station to now sharing happy stories... You've definitely made it in life, yaar. The moment of the entire trip was when you told me that you have everything you need... That this is all you ever wanted... That made me spectacularly happy and joyous... because I know how we used to sit together and hear each other groan! I am so glad to see you move up the corporate ladder completely on your merit. You are a true self-made man. I am proud of you. In every way.

I was speechless there for a long time because I was completely overcome with happiness and quiet sense of peace that you feel when you meet a best friend, an elder brother after about ten long and eventful years.

I rest my case; I am going to revisit my mistress as many times as possible. Zindagi aa raha hoon main...

Inside Out

This is not a film. This is not a movie. This is existentialism, psychology, emotions, and looking at life with feelings. This is being a child, this is parenting, this is growing up. This is about coming of age. This is death of few memories into deep black voids from where there is no return. This is a lesson in movie-making. This is conversation. This is about relationships between various feelings both inside and outside of us!
 
This is life...

Inside Out is an experience worth cherishing many times. Easily, the best of 2015, it takes you to a world of imagination, thoughts, and feelings. It has metaphors and simple scenes which convey mighty truths.

The emotions and their controls and how they change with time. Writing about Inside Out is so overwhelming that I do not know where to begin. Has my train of thought stopped? Or, has abstract thinking changed my feelings? :-) Or, is the joy inside me unable to understand why the movie brought so many core memories to light? :-)

Inside me, I am sure Joy and Sadness have already understood why I have loved this movie like no other. Some movies are like that. They make you cry tears of joy.

Vasai, my home

Time is ephemeral. Rather it shows the true nature of all around us as being ephemeral.

Recently, we drove down to Vasai all the way from Bangalore. The road has changed for the better. 14-hour drive.

I have met many good and noble people in my life. Bhadra Aunty and family and Sapna Chechi and family are among the best. They are the kind of people who make you feel wanted. Cared for. They make you miss places, memories, events, and shared incidents of joy. They've always been there for you. For us. They're the epitome of being well-wishers.

They make you human. 

The kids have now all grown-up and how! They sing, they travel and they are certainly going places! I love how Praveen and Sonu and Meenu have shaped up. I mean, just the other day, they were two-year-old kids who you took out for walks and played with... 

Tears welled up in my eyes when I heard Meenu play the tanpura and sing. It was a truly meditative experience. I shared with her Jaggi Vasudev's video wherein he converses with Pandit Jasraj.

Tears welled up when I had three vada pavs from Amrut Ganga; the taste has not changed even after so many years. The young man at the counter has changed; he is the grandson of the man who established the shop. His father still comes in and helps him once in a while.

Sonu has become a tomboy but one who is a pakka Bombay girl. Tears welled up in my eyes when she cooked great pav bhaji for us! When she insisted, in her own sweet way, that I should not go to Pune. 

I could not go. The rain gods and Gods were against it.

I have decided to visit Vasai as many times as possible. To keep going back there to know that this too shall pass. That this is where home will always be; where life will welcome me even though I am a black sheep. 

Because Vasai is where they truly love me. In spite of me.

Anandham's loss for life

Once upon a time, there was an old man. My valliachan who I met only five times but left an indelible mark upon me. 

He led a very virtuous life. He taught the poor and disciplined them for life; one of them came all the way for his cremation from Dharmapuri to Palakkad. 

He was remembered fondly by one and all. Even his elder sister and family, who are not in talking terms with his family, came and cried. 

The unexpected coming back of his prodigal son after a long time and then, a more unexpected twist wherein he committed suicide for still unknown reasons, had made him very, very upset. That suicide had begun his countdown.

But like valliachan's life, his death was a blessed one too: he passed away quickly among all his loved ones. He even waited for his beloved grandchildren to come back from their school; that fateful day they arrived earlier than usual by 15 minutes. He was fortunate to sip water from their loving hands before breathing his last.

My kuttus have looked after him and his wife all their childhood. They have experienced the deaths of three close ones till date and each death has made them stronger, but humbler. He had taught them excellent values and skills in life. 

Anandham (his man Friday) and me had a long chat while waiting for takeaway at the nearby Iyer restaurant. He was completely at a loss for words. He was mourning his death. He was nostalgically reminiscing every event and incident with the old man. 

If Anandham can feel the irreparable loss and can cry after valliachan's death, he has led a blessed life. May his soul rest in peace.

Lightning strikes. Sometimes twice.

Love and spirituality... People think and seek separately. I got it at one go. From one.

You never realized. You have always walked beside me. You were in my every mantra. In my every pilgrimage. In every lamp that I ever lit.

Let such small miracles happen...

10 years. Not a day has passed by when I have not thought of you. Not a night has passed by when I have not thought of you beside me. 

And now, you call me. We discuss things new and old. You talk and I listen. You laugh and I cry; with happiness. We discuss how we parted ways and I talk about what-ifs, buts, and all that jazz! :-)

You have started speaking Hindi and have a four-year-old god-child now. Well, well. 

I am glad. I am happy. I am glad that finally, you could talk and open up. I am glad that finally, I have the patience to listen. 

Is this the beginning of a blossom? Of a beautiful bloom? Of an undefined love beyond borders?

Is this the beginning of a world, where only we exist... Of Tarapith and Tungnath and all our questions and answers and theories and rituals and realizations. Where Shiva dances and suckles... where the Goddess whispers and it booms. Where callings are heard and mantras uttered in every beat. Where the Goddess is fed and bathed and loved. 

A world where the Goddess feels she has reached home. And the god-child is at peace. 

Kabhie kabhie mere dil mein khayal aata hain... Let such small miracles happen. 

Peace. Bliss. Bitter-sweet love and all that jazz!

Reflections of a seeker while driving to work today morning...

Till now, I have always thought that lack of understanding is what causes misunderstanding. No amount of openness and frankness can remove misunderstanding because what really causes the misunderstanding in the first place is my desire to be understood. That is the root cause.

Awakened to this understanding while reflecting on a silly misunderstanding.

No more shall I harbor the desire to be understood. Peace. :-)

My mirror

My mirror...
In a bedroom.

It had no bindi stuck on its corner.
There were no glue marks even.

It's been a long time.
My mirror...

My Bullet

Anand philosophically states: “On quiet days and nights exactly unlike today, when am alone at the fence, I sometimes think–A bullet can feed a mouth. Why waste it?”

Now with typical army fervour: “So, my brother, aim and fire. Pray that your bullet always finds its mark, else that is one hungry kid you just killed. For sure.”

--
--
--

Anand: “And when you do meet my wife, please do tell her that in my dying moments I only remembered her but missed only my Bullet, my Royal Enfield 500! Ah… How I used to ride her?”

Ashwathamma: Ride whom?

Both laugh.

Anand puts on his Ray Ban Aviator one last time with hands that drip of his own blood. He takes a cigarette and holds it in his mouth. One last puff is what he desires. Searches for a matchbox in his pocket(s). He concludes that he has exhausted all his matchsticks one-by-one just like his bullets.

Anand requests Ashwathamma: Chap, ek aakhri sutta? Aapke paas maachis hain?

Ashwathamma: My pleasure, Sir.

Ashwathamma moves. Suddenly, a bullet finds its mark. Anand gapes through Aswathamma’s forehead. For the first time in his army life, Anand weeps. Ashwathamma did not even get a final goodbye.

All is quiet on the western front. If only for a moment.

Finding Fanny

With such a title, what do you expect this gem of a movie to be?! 

Finding Fanny. Finding the Window to Heaven!

What if? 

It is one of the most interesting and poignant questions of our lives. Especially, when looked at in hindsight. Add a tinge of nostalgia and 'what if' can cause heartbreaks too. Again. 

We love to cherish our memories; more than that, we love to cherish our imagined and make-believe memories. 'What ifs' bring such imagined memories alive and give it utmost significance in our mundane lives. I should know because I continue to live with a lot of 'what ifs'. 

This cheeky film is a look at the reality of one such romantic 'what if' and is a quirky journey towards that in the present. 

Life is a journey to be led in the present without waiting to answer 'what ifs'. The characters who inhabit this fictitious village are downright hilarious; they are people whom you want to meet with because they exist as caricatures in cartoons. 

The narcoleptic cat takes the cake! Is the cat dead or asleep? At the same time? You know that only if and when you observe! :-)

The painter, who incidentally dies accidentally after he has painted his 'masterpiece' after having found his 'fanny' is a classic case of 'life owes you only so much'. Of how you lose value of something/someone you hold so dearly only till you 'find' it as a part of your daily life. Which is why unrequited love always feels more dear and poignant than requited loves. 

More often than not, an unrequited love turns out to be the love of our life. More songs are composed on unrequited love every year. More people sing such songs. 

Reality is often different; it's dead. Like shown in the film literally and symbolically, 'What ifs' are always dead. The reality is not what you project on a person with your rose-petaled and pink-tinted sunglasses peppered with romantic illusions and fertile imaginations. 

Love really makes you blind. Till death makes you stare at the horizon till you really see the world as it is.

                                                 xxx

Also, watched Humpty Sharma Ki Dulhania. This feel-good film is an open tribute to DDLJ and adds a bit of Jab We Met fun along with Band Baaja Baraat spirit to it.

A Tale of Three Roomies

Sridhar, Rohan, and Vineet. This one's for you three guys.

Sridhar came into my life just before a major transition period; in fact, a transition that kind of changed a lot of things for me and about me. He was there when I got divorced. All the way. He gave me a lot of his personal insights and advice. Not that it mattered then; I was mad and madly in love for the second time in life and this time, I was prepared to not listen to anybody. 

The divorce happened and we parted ways soon after: Sridhar and I. My wife and I. And my lover and I too. And right now, none of them is in touch with me. But this post is not about my love, my divorce, or my transitions... which are a dime a dozen.

Sridhar entered my life on a cool breezy Saturday afternoon at Sunshine Park, Balewadi, Pune. The year was 2010, if I am not mistaken. He was about 42 then. And he moved in. It was nice having him at home for those post-dinner walks and talks. He loved Old Monk and used to have a quarter daily before sleeping. In between those three pegs, we used to have conversations on varied subjects: Love, spirituality, family, cars, women, life in Mumbai, his past, and mine. 

Come what may, he used to always travel to Chembur from Pune for every weekend. That used to give me my personal time and space.

He introduced me to the dance bars in Panvel and am forever indebted to him for that. Because of him I was able to see and study a side of life that would not have been possible otherwise. We also used to frequent Raj Hotel and made friends with an 'agent', who used to enthrall us with his crazy stories and anecdotes.

We ended up watching IPL matches and going on late night rides and drives. It was a great companionship and it lasted for a pretty long time till I shifted to another part of Pune, Hadapsar.

                                                xxx

I moved to Hadapsar, Pune when I started working for another organization nearby. After few months of staying alone, Rohan walked into my apartment and life through a common friend/ex-colleague. He moved in. 

Well, this was a bromance in the making. We loved and respected each other a lot and shared a lot of back stories, incidents, events, and dinner too! He was truly good at understanding and accepting me as I am. It was always good having him around for spontaneous late night movie shows, pick-ups, doorstep deliveries, etc. :-)

I turned into a mentor for him for many things while he mentored me on business development and other such ideas. Soon four months passed away like a dream... like a cool breeze and I got a calling to take a break from mundane life and work. He dropped me to my bus from Pune to Bangalore because I was moving to Thiruvannamalai. I had a lump in my throat while saying goodbye to him and am sure, he was emotional too. But he never was the kind to show emotions. :-) 

Though coming from a small town of Jalna, Rohan has none of its trappings and is a true cosmopolitan by spirit and nature. I shall never forget our various outings together: to malls, restaurants, movies, Panvel, and to meet Jeevan. Another thing, we both shall never forget is our last night in Pune! :-)

Rohan and I are still in touch pretty frequently and in fact, we went on a short trip to Thailand recently. Our bromance is still on and going strong, I guess. Thanks, Rohan for being a part of my life... And being for me now too. 

                                                xxx

All good things must come to an end. My long break from work ended too. The immediate cause for it ending maybe a subject for another blog post some other time. But I needed a job quick and like now! I got a job quick enough and moved out of my bro's house in Bangalore. 

Now, I needed a roomie badly because I was paying a rent that I clearly could not afford on my own. Vineet came one evening. He liked the house and he said he will come tomorrow morning again to see the place! I was like WTF! He was like every place looks different in the day and in the night; I was like whatever. 

He did come the next morning. And that was the beginning of a new bromance. Similar to Rohan, he too was a good conversationist though he did take his time to open up initially. Then, we became thick friends; now, he considers me like his own elder brother but advises me like one too! :-)

We have had a lot of conversations over relationships, love, women, business ideas, more business ideas, and yet some more! He is a true Sindhi by birth and by nature but has a heart of gold. We miss each other nowadays because I have had to move out of that house in Ulsoor due to reasons beyond the boundary of this blog post. But yes, I know that I still have a place called home at Ulsoor, as per his own words! :-)

                                                xxx

Hats off to you three guys. I have spent considerable amount of time with you folks and it did make a lot of difference to my life. 

Vineet and Rohan, thanks for being there always and all the ways! Maybe, we three should travel together to Thailand together... What say? If and when that happens, that will be a trip of a lifetime! 

This much I know.

Delhi mein Aankhon Dekhi, Queen, and Swapaanam

Delhi has welcomed me with a thunderstorm on my very first evening here. The city is unlike all the other cities I have lived in the past; this city is trying to say something to you every minute. There are a lot of stories in every nook and corner: from the broker to the rickshaw-wallah (electric rickshaw, CNG, and shared) to the sleepy waiters who have opened shops and restaurants well before business time can begin.

One thing is for sure: the city sleeps late and wakes up late.  

Coincidentally, got a chance to get passes to India Habitat Centre’s Film Fest with a Retrospective on Aparna Sen. The fest started with getting free passes for movies last Friday…

The opening movie was Rajat Kapoor’s Aankhon Dekhi; a universal film that charts the journey of a simple family man who unknowingly hurtles in life towards enlightenment. The fun part is that he himself never realizes it. From a high moral ground to a place where he is beyond morality… From a brother to a teacher…

This is one movie that never felt unreal; the actors did really well. Rajat Kapoor and Sanjay Mishra stand out in their performances; loved the brothers despite their love-hate relationship.

Please watch this one; and yes, don’t miss the ending.

Queen is a genre-defying film: it is at once a coming-of-age film, at once a slice-of-life film, and also a chick-lit film at the same time. And there is nothing to be ashamed of. The film hits all the right notes at the right time: it got it right, I guess, when it cast Kangna Ranaut and Rajkumar as then main leads. Vijaylakshmi played the kind of best friend and buddy we all craze for: wild, loving, caring, and independent.

The performance of Kangna as Rani aka Queen is flawless. Just like Lata Mangeshkar in her heydays; kambakht kabhi galati hii nahi karti hain! Her friends/roomies in Amsterdam leave their mark too despite none of them speaking much…

With Queen, Vikas Bahl has beaten Farhan Akhtar’s Dil Chahta Hain… Kangna has beaten those three mature actors in their own game! Watch out for her!

Shaji Karun’s Swapaanam deals with his and my favourite subject: the relationship of a muse with her artiste. He comes out on top, once again. 

When compared with Vaanaprastham, it falls a little short. Jayaram, easily the most underrated actor in Malayalam cinema, once again shows his versatility. The chenda and he become one just like his muse Kadambari becomes one with dance. It explores all human emotions with art and artiste’s expression of life through art at its centre. Kadambari has played her role well keeping it sensual without being erotic!

After Sesham, Sneham, and Theerthadanam,  Jayaram proves once again that he can easily hold his head high in company of colossal giants, such as Mohanlal, Mamootty, Murali, and Thilakan, etc.

Well, the film fest is not over yet; dim the lights and am ready for my next show!

The Lunchbox - A big slurp of a movie!

One of those films that just lets you sit on a rocking chair and feeds you dollops of food for thought: 

• "You are young, Ila; you can still dream." 
• "I do not have a mother; am an orphan, Sir. But still it feels good to say 'my mother used to say...'"

The latter line is a truth spoken, as a matter of fact, by Shaikh to Fernandes in a local train while coming back from work! Perhaps, the only scene where Nawazuddin surpasses Irrfan's acting prowess in the blink of an eye. For a moment, that line brought a lump to my throat and welled up my eyes... Shaikh just immortalized himself.

It is one of those rare films that eases into your life and walks away without you being hurt, depressed, or happy. It just leaves you gasping for freshness and innocence that it left behind. You want to have a cook and lover like Ila, a friend and co-worker like Shaikh, and most of all, a neighbour like the aunty who lives above Ila's flat... 

If ever there is a best supporting actor award for an actor who never appears on screen, it should be given to the aunty who stays above her... Like the invisible, but reliable and approachable God, she helps Ila in cooking and listening to music and also gives her free advice whenever she needs it. 

From having an open-ended ending (or rather, a new beginning) to indirectly showing the three stages of marriage, the movie very intelligently and touchingly covers all its characters' lives in transitions... Fernandes transitioning retirement, Shaikh transitioning marriage after elopement and love, Ila's mother transitioning her husband's inevitable death, Ila transitioning her own true calling, and the neighbourhood aunty transitioning her husband's coma state (poetically linked to an ever-rotating ceiling fan)...

No matter how 'error-proof' the dabbawalas' procedure and mechanism might be, a single .1 rate of error is enough to change somebody's destiny. 

Fernandes and Ila love and live happily ever after. And she still serves him lunch everyday. 

By the way, I too need such a lunchbox everyday!

The Sea Inside

There is a sea inside. The tide is swelling up. 

I just chatted with Sri. A twinkling star. A friend who defines the very essence of the word. She gave me honest insights about my life, my truths, and she called a spade a spade. 

This is all I ask for. Somebody who understands what spaces between togetherness means. Somebody who lets me be me and tells me what I am for what I am. Without fear and without any context and issues. Somebody who is a perfect signboard. 

It was just for a few minutes but my eyes welled up... Never have my eyes welled up so much on chat before. 

Now, am waiting for a call to turn the tide. 

Sri, hugs and kisses. 

LISFF: Lessons In Self-respect For Filmmakers (am sorry, LGP)

Indian Coffee House is one of the best restaurants I have ever been to: excellent food and great service. Folks, if you ever go to Bhopal, do not miss this place: it's bang in the middle of the city at TT Nagar, New Market. 

Alas, the waiters and the managers there too did not know that there was a film festival taking place next door at Samanway Bhavan! This is just one of the flaws of the 'baap' of all film fests in India: LISFF (advertised so on FB few days before the fest began)! 

Fortunately or unfortunately, I was the only person from the short film community to have landed there on the first day itself (August 29). I was present at the screening venue right from the start to its end on all three days except for a couple of hours on August 30 (2pm to 4pm) and August 31 (7pm onwards). 

Charlie Brown aka Nivedita Fadnis, a resident scholar at Bhopal, is a witness to all my observations here:

Day 1 (August 29): The screenings began around 4:30 pm. The tourism minister came and inaugurated the fest. There was a classical dance based on the LISFF theme song. Sunder Rajan, the veteran actor also graced the occasion. 

Curfew was the opening film and was a great one at that but we were not able to watch the film properly because some volunteers, their friends, and few dancers were clicking pics in the auditorium and talking loudly while the screening was on! The organizers, including the festival director, did not do anything to stop this. My friend Nivedita and I had to go to particular sections of the auditorium and warn them to either get out of the auditorium or watch the film. Finally, we did get to watch the films in peace and in quiet. 

My bro's second short film, 100 Degree C, was the second-last film to be screened on this day. By then, the audience count had dropped to just 5 or 6, including the organizers and volunteers.

Curfew, Scenes from Suburbia, Rha, The Cold Side of the Pillow, and Uh La La made the first day worth it. 

By the way, I do not remember watching the following movies scheduled for that day: Believe, Valentine, and C! These were not screened on the remaining two days as well.

Before leaving for the day, Nivedita and I provided our feedback to Mohandas (Eon Filmss) in person that he needs to do more local publicity. She even suggested places such as Bharat Bhavan and Rabindra Bhavan (cultural centers for those who do not know Bhopal), where LISFF posters should be put up. She said that these posters can be put up there for free because lot of event organizers in the city put up their posters there for free. She should know; she is a regularly hangs out at these two places. He agreed that that is what they were going to do first thing next morning. We suggested that these should have been put up there at least two/three days in advance. 

We also suggested that films that will be screened on all days should be listed with their tentative timings along with a short summary on each film so that audience members can make a note of the same. This was not done on any of the remaining days; only a one-page Word doc was put up wherein only names of the films to be screened for that particular day were listed.  

In between these talks, I asked him twice about the screening timings for the next day... Either he failed to hear me or chose not to respond, but he did not reply. 

Day 2 (August 30): I woke up and about 11ish in the morning and logged into Facebook. Mohan was online too; once again, I asked him about the screening schedule for the day! Again there was no response. I assumed the screening timing to be the same as yesterday and reached the auditorium at 4pm. I missed not only my bro's film Hu but also Lensmangops Pictures Aghavizhi! 

Nobody from the organizers even informed me that the screenings were scheduled from 2pm onwards! They all knew that I had come all the way from Bangalore for full four days and yet, they did not inform me! Plus, even though it was a Friday today, not many people turned up till 5pm! 

Later in the day, Nivedita met me and she informed that there were no posters at Bharat Bhavan or Rabindra Bhavan... :-(

To add to this, they had 7 music bands playing in between the screenings! Not before or after the screenings! And these folks, a talented bunch they were indeed, got lot more space and time on the dais than the film-makers that day... They had some competition between the bands and there were three judges assigned for the same. It was announced that the best band will get some award by the end of the day and that too did not materialize! 

So when the films were being screened, few of the band members displayed disrespectful and uncouth behavior just like Day 1. Loud talks, laughter, clicking pics, etc., all activities going on. 

I lost my temper and I had to shout across to the organizer/anchor when she had come on the dais to talk about the films and the bands. I just gave a very stern message that the way these folks are behaving during the screenings is unacceptable and also asked those band members directly as to how would they feel if we made similar ruckus while they were performing. I said I am sorry for losing my temper and said that this is something the organizer should look into. This is when Mohan also seconded my opinion and told the band members to be silent or walk out of the auditorium. 

Breaking Views, OP Stop Smelling Your Socks, Baucchar, and 13 hours are the films that I remember watching with enthusiasm. By the way, OP Stop Smelling Your Socks was the only film which had its screening time mentioned on the screening schedule put up at the venue: 6pm. And, it was played at 6pm to maximum crowd... 

Again, few films scheduled for screening on this day were not screened and no explanations were given whatsoever. 

Today, at the end of the screenings, the anchor announced that tomorrow the screenings will begin at 2pm in the afternoon.

Day 3 (August 31): I reached the venue at 2pm today without fail and watched Timbaktu. It was an engrossing documentary but there was a glitch. They had started playing part 3 of the movie file first, then part 2, and then part 1. So I just helped them in correcting the order. 

Some of the best movies were preserved for this day: June, Bheka, Control Alt Delete, Lula, Ria, and Lunch With My Friend's Wife. 

Vartul was scheduled to be screened the next day but was screened today. I was glad that that happened because it was a wonderful film. 

Bheka and June were very sensible and sensitive films and so was Control Alt Delete with a brilliant performance by Kitu Gidwani. 

The film that, however, stood out for me and even for Nivedita and Santosh Ram was: Lunch With My Friend's Wife. Excellent story, great performances, and an ending that just blows you away. Unfortunately, this film was not nominated in any category and therefore, did not win any awards! That was just unbelievable... unless there are some technical reasons behind it.

Day 4 (September 1): An hour before 5:30pm, I get an SMS from Mohan informing that there are no screenings today and the awards function will start at 5:30pm at Kalindi Hotel. 

The awards function was pretty well attended by many film-makers who did not attend the previous three days. Met with many film-makers here... including Aditya, Venugopal, and others...

At the end of the ceremony, Mohan asked us to provide feedback. We did. Santosh Ram and I did say quite a few things. Sometimes he took it personally. 

Anyways, as I had said then that I shall be posting my feedback even on my blog and on Facebook, here it is. 

Here is my humble assessment of the festival in one statement: Overall, great films were selected for screening and then it all went down the drain... 

No reasons, excuses, or technical disclaimers can save a badly organized job. I really felt bad when a film-maker came up and said that his film was slotted to be screened today and he was sad that there were no screenings today. He said that this should not happen again. 

In fact, today, one of the reasons Mohan gave the audience for canceling the screenings was that there were some police problems! But, on the first day, I had overheard Ankit telling Mohan that police has no issues whatsoever in them conducting the fest for all four days and they have received permission for the same! Plus, after the awards ceremony, when I came over to Indian Coffee House for dinner, I saw that Samanway Bhavan was all lit up and there was some other function going on! :-)

The Nominations: 

Here is the nomination list copied from LISFF (https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=398952386871166&set=a.303558123077260.55003.303509573082115&type=1&theater):

Best of Fest

Illusions | Curfew | Women Prayed & Preyed Upon | Ria

Best Indian Film

Ria | June | Aghavizhi | The Dream

Best Foreign Film

Curfew | Lula | Titanic Love | The Hunter | Love At First Sight

Best Children Film

A Desire to Fly | Take Care | Bauchaar

Best Animation Film

RomeoSpikes

Best Experimental Film

Control Alt Delete | The Dream | R'ha | C | Deep End

Best Documentary Film

Believe | eyecan | Paansi Paraar Chupkotha | Ajana Tir

Best Environmental Film

Timbaktu | Kaleda Hani | Notun Graamer Upokotha

Best Film on Social Issues

Women Prayed & Preyed Upon | Shyamli Ek Pratha | Smile you're dead | Jhumki

Best Film (Local Talent)

One Way | Chappal Chor

Best Film (Under 21 Category)

Bheka | The Wound | Biyaa | Goonj - The Empty Call

Best Public Service Film

The Truth Behind | Broken Angel | A Blind Story | Isme Anna Kya Karenge | The Mind

Best Director

Ria | Illusions | The Cold side of the Pillow | The Lost Paradise

Best Debutante Director (Male)

The Truth Behind | The Last Day | Chitthi | Set you free

Best Debutante Director (Female)

A Desire to Fly | Fakebook | Nadaan Parindey

Best Actor

Rutajeet Mukherjee | Phone Box | February 15th | Illusions | Aghavizhi

Best Actress

Control Alt Delete | Valentine | Shyamli Ek Pratha | What the luck | Fifty Pence

Best Child Artiste

Vartul | Bheka | Lula | Sharing

Best Cinematography

I Don’t Know | Set You Free | Fifty Pence | Humsafar | Vartul

Best Music Director

Ria | Fakebook | The Truth Behind | Deep End | Within

Best Editor

Breaking the Silence | Timbaktu | Scenes From Suburbia | Aakhir - At Last

Critics Award

The Dream | Alatchiyam | Laughing Buddha | Inseperables

Special Mention JURY

Kanavugal | Chhaayaa | 100 Degrees Centigrade | Breaking Views 

— at Lakecity International Short Film Festival.

If you have seen all the films, you can surely say that they have got some of the genres as well as categories incorrect for a lot of films. For example, Rutajeet Mukherjee is the name of the actor nominated from the film Kranti! Is that not a dead giveaway?! 

Having a lot of categories makes everybody happy. But then this is not a school and nor are we children! Lensmangops Pictures' Aghavizhi did win the Runner-Up award in Best Indian Film category... So this post is not a grouse against anybody. Just an objective review and critique of LISFF. 

I hope that the film-makers, whose movies were not screened, do get their refund (Rs 2,000 contribution for each film). That would be ethical. All the best, you guys. Hope your films do get screened in other film fests and they do get what they deserve.  

To quote Santosh Ram, "Festival organizers and directors should realize that they exist because of us film-makers and not the other way around."

By the way, can we now know who were the jury members at LISFF who chose the nominations and the winners? We do have a right to know this, I think. Don't you?

Why does a Heart search for a Soul?

Kiska Rasta Dekhe
Ae Dil Ae Saudaai
Meelon Hai Khamoshi
Barson Hai Tanhaai
Bhuli Duniya Kabhi Ki Tujhe Bhi Mujhe Bhi
Phir Kyon Aankh Bhar Aai
O Kiska Rasta Dekhe...

Koi Bhi Saaya Nahin Raahon Mein
Koi Bhi Aayega Na Baahon Mein
Tere Liye Mere Liye Koi Nahin Rone Waala Ho
Jhuta Bhi Naata Nahin Chaahoon Mein
Tu Hi Kyon Dubaa Rahey Aahon Mein
Koi Kisi Sang Marey Aisa Nahin Hone Waala
Koi Nahin Jo Yunhi Jahaan Mein Baante Peer Paraee

Ho Kiska Rasta Dekhe...

Tujhe Kya Beeti Hui Raaton Se
Mujhe Kya Khoyi Hui Baaton Se
Sej Nahin Chita Sahi Jo Bhi Miley Sona Hoga Ho
Gai Jo Dori Chhuti Haathon Se O
Lena Kya Chhute Hue Saathon Se
Khushi Jahaan Maangi Tuney Wahin Mujhe Rona Hoga
Na Koi Tera Na Koi Mera Phir Kiski Yaad Aaee

O Kiska Rasta Dekhe...

Joshila 

Lyrics by Sahir Ludhianvi ~ Sung by Kishore Kumar ~ Music by RD Burman ~ Picturized on Dev Anand ~ Direction by Yash Chopra

All geniuses. Those folks up there. 

Coming back to the song, I have loved this song for a long, long time now. Recently, heard this song again. And it certainly evokes feelings from a deep corner of my heart. 

Few songs manage that. Don’t know why… Because usually, I dislike self-pity songs. Maybe, here the singer is singing to his own heart, as if the heart is another person. It’s like he is trying to pacify his own heart… Helping it come to terms with reality. Maybe, because this song reminds me of my own poem Him, In My Sleep…

Sahir has written much better gems than this one but you can’t help feel for lines like “Meelon Hai Khamoshi… Barson Hai Tanhaai”. 

Just like Kaif, I too have tried my hand at providing the meaning of the song in my own words. Please pardon any errors. English is just the not right language for this... but still:

Whom are you waiting for, oh heart, oh crazy one?
(We've had) miles of silence and years of loneliness
The world has long since forgotten you and me 
Then why have the eyes welled up with tears?

There is no shadow on our path
No one to come into my/our arms
For you, for me, no one who'll weep over us
I don't have any hopes of even a phoney/namesake relationship
Why then are you immersed in sighs?
Nobody’s gonna die together with us (no one who'll die with us/spend a lifetime and die with us)
None in the world who’ll share others’ sorrows just like that

Why do you care about nights long gone?
Why should I care about long lost/forgotten talks?
If a cremation pyre is all we get instead of a bed of roses, then so be it
Once the thread (of love) has slipped from our hands
Why should we care about broken relationships?
Wherever you asked for happiness is where I'll cry
No one for you or for me… Then whose thoughts fill our mind?